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Jennifer Hudson on Family Murders: 'It's All a Blur'

By Amber Sterling on June 29, 2010

Jennifer Hudson, family, murders, pictures, picture, photos, photo, pics, pic, images, image, hot, sexy, latest, new, 2010HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Jennifer Hudson has opened up for the first time about the tragic 2008 murders of her mother Darnell, brother Jason and nephew Julian.

"It's all a blur, it was surreal," the Oscar-winning actress revealed on VH1's Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson, which aired Monday night. "It was like I was outside of myself."

Hudson said she secluded herself for two weeks after the family tragedy, which took place in her native Chicago.

"[I was] inside one room with just family and friends coming in and out," she recalled. "I prayed when I'd get up in the morning and prayed before I laid down at night."

Looking back, the former American Idol star said she feels like she's "lived about three or four different lives." She credits the birth of her 11-month-old son David with fiancé David Otunga as a moment that helped her heal. Hudson said the couple's child reminds her of her nephew and also helps keep her mother's memory alive.

"In so many ways I channel her because she was such a great mom ..." she explained. "I want him to get the same love and the same upbringing my mother gave us."