LOS ANGELES — In her first televised interview since being assaulted by her former boyfriend, Chris Brown, Rihanna told 20/20's Diane Sawyer that she felt ashamed to have been involved with the "Kiss Kiss" singer in the first place.
"That's embarrassing that that's the type of person that I fell in love with," Rihanna said in an interview that aired Friday night on ABC. "[I was] so far in love, so unconditional that I went back. It's humiliating to say this happened. To accept that? It's a traumatizing experience."
Rihanna told Sawyer that during the Feb. 8 attack, Brown put her in a headlock twice and bit her ears and fingers. Still, she found herself crawling back to the fellow R&B star soon after the incident, which took place on the eve of the Grammy Awards.
"I stayed. I even went back after he beat me, which was wrong," admitted Rihanna. "But again ... I'm a human being, and people put me on a very unrealistic pedestal. And all these expectations, I'm not perfect. Also it's pretty natural for that to be the first reaction. ... It's completely normal to go back. You start lying to yourself. The minute the physical wounds go away you want this thing to go away. This is a memory you don't want to have ever again."
Rihanna said she later realized how important it was for her to send the right message to the people who look up to her.
"When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part," she said. "I couldn't be responsible for that. Even if Chris never hit me again, who's to say their boyfriend won't? Who's to say they won't kill these girls? I didn't realize how much of an impact I had on these girls' lives until that happened."
Also see: Rihanna Pictures
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Watch Rihanna's 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer:
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